I was coaching a client recently.
She’s been working on difficult conversations (and the totally normal aversion has to them).
She was proud of herself for stepping into one of these conversations.
She told me all about it, and it sounded to me like she nailed it.
Then, she said the only thing she could have done better was …
… fix her face.
She was calm, clear and considerate.
But, she was worried that her face didn’t look nice enough.
So, we got to talk a little bit about the patriarchy. How it shows up everywhere and how it is particularly damaging to women in a business setting.
How many times a day do you think men are being told to smile or fix their faces in a business setting (or in any setting)?
How many times do you think a man nails a difficult conversation, then walks away wondering if he held his face in a warm, welcoming, comforting enough way?
Not often.
Here’s the deal:
There is nothing wrong with your face.
If you aren’t in the mood to smile, you don’t have to.
If the natural way your face rests is displeasing to someone that is their problem, not yours.
And, not for nothing, but women are allowed to show any emotion we want on our faces.
We don’t just have to just show calm, happy, pleasing, nurturing, forgiving, accepting, gracious expressions on our faces.
If we are disappointed, it’s okay for our face to show it and for our words to express it.
Yes, body language matters. But let’s be very clear, the message that women need to fix their faces isn’t about body language or energy.
It’s about the patriarchy’s opinion of women – especially women with opinions and power.
If you want to show up more authentically (and less worried about pleasing everyone around you) in life and business, I want to serve as your coach.
Ready to discuss coaching with me? Book a consultation call today.
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